I was 16 years old and at the DMV with my Dad. I was going to take my driving test and was ready to explode from all my nerves. My Dad had a clipboard of papers to fill out while we waited for my test to begin. He would ask me questions like, “Lauren, eye color?” and “How much do you weigh now?” And then he asked me the dreaded question: “Height, Lauren?” He then immediately answered his own question, “Duh, I know that one, 6′.” I opened my eyes wide just as he put the pen to the paper, “NO DAD! I don’t want 6′ on my driver’s license! It’s so embarrassing!” He replied, “Well you are…What do you want me to put?” I hastily replied “5’11”.” He rolled his eyes, but obediently wrote 5’11”.
Everyone, specifically women, have something they wish they could change about themselves: hair, waistline, muscles, breasts, butt, nose, skin, lips, cheek bones, chin, etc… It’s human nature. I wanted to be shorter. Starting at 12 years old I towered above all my peers. From seventh grade until senior year in high school I was teased, ridiculed, and pointed at for my height. Height isn’t something you can hide, remove, or lose, like weight or an unseemly mole. I stuck out like a sore thumb and was the target of many cruel names and jokes across those campuses. I’m aware of just how rampant bullying is, nobody is immune to it. So when I was at the DMV thinking in all my high school wisdom that I’d see 6′ on my driver’s license for the rest of my life, I was ashamed.
When I got to college, I realized rather quickly that my fellow students were much more respectful, though I still hid in baggy clothes, avoided crowds, and sat down whenever possible.
At some point I was writing a paper on addiction and came across the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
This prayer, although mostly used for addicts, is relevant for our bodies too. I can never change my height, but I can change my attitude towards it. This may seem like a duh-moment, but something like that never sank in my head before. I began to change the way I thought about my height. I made mental lists of why I liked being tall:
1. People remembered me. I am known as the ‘Tall Blonde Girl’ among my coworkers, peers, and family. In school if someone asked, “You know Lauren right?” and the person replied, “No.” All you’d have to say is, “You know, that tall blonde girl in our Econ 201 class.” “Oh yeah, I know her!” The same thing happened when I went on job interviews. Instant recognition and remembered.
2. I can see over mosh pits and crowds, I can even enjoy a nice parade and my face appears in large group photos
3. I look good in almost any pair of shorts (within reason)
4. I appear graceful even when I’m not
5. I can reach anything in high up, out of reach places
etc…
I really blossomed when I collected these mental lists. I sat, stood, and walked without slouching, wore heels occasionally, wore clothing that fit me, and, best of all, learned that if anything, my height helped me rather than hindered me. All in all my attitude changed drastically and suddenly my height was a source of pride instead of embarrassment.
Ladies, we cannot change most things about our bodies (unless you have access to a plastic surgeon and happen to have a few grand lying around), what is important to remember is that in order to be truly happy and healthy we must love ourselves first, including every oddity and abnormality we possess; what follows is only positive growth and a sense of wholeness. We’re all beautiful in our own special ways, it just takes an attitude and behavior adjustment to realize how special and unique we really are. Looking back at that day at the DMV I laugh. It serves as proof of just how far I’ve come.
Tall Female in Flats 